Well Thats it. The compney is offally  gone.  Our friend Samuel and his Iresh friends left this afternoon. So sad to see them leave. But it's been a long busy month, and it's nice to get back to "normal life" again. It's been a long hall, it's been good, tiring, frustrating, noisy. But above all, it was a Wonderful Wedding. So very beautiful... i hope mine is half as beautiful. I'm so exausted from the last few weeks, trying to get over the shock of Sarah actually being gone, and married, and knowing that our relationship will never be the same now.

      It was so hard packing up Sarah's room the day after she and Micah left for Ireland, i woke up with no intention of packing up her stuff, then my dad anounced thats what i was going to do... so i basicly cried all day, it felt like i was packing up old memories, so weird, going though her droors, packing up her closet shelves, throwing away old wrapers. It was all apart of her, no matter how stupid or small it was... it kinda tore my heart out. My emotions have been rather raw lately, and i tend to react to everything these days.

         I never know what to say or write about anymore, theres some stuff going on in my personal life that im trying to figure out, and praying about, but it's not public information. I'm at the fact right now, whare im an adult and almost 21, and i want to make my own desitions, trying to not have people get in my face about my life, it's funny, everyone thinks my busniess is their busniess, and they life to give me there edvice about there past expierences because they think i will make the same " mistake" i know people are trying to be " loving" and "Caring" but it's coming across as annoying, and putting there nose whare it doesn't belong.

         Yes, i know, i'm being quite blunt, i've been wanting to speak my mind for some time, but it's my site, so i think i can speak my mind. I'm honestly sick of people trying to emotionaly abuse me with there words, they know im an emotionel person, and they know how to " sweet talk" there way into breaking me down, and making me crack, but im so sick and tired of it. I am holding my head high, and i am fighting for what i want, for what i KNOW is right, i am no longer going to stand by and watch others emotionally abuse me, or my friends, i will stand tall and strong, and fight for what is right. I think it's HIGH TIME I STAND UP FOR MYSELF, INSTED OF LETTING PEOPLE DRAG ME DOWN. AND TIME I STAND UP FOR MY FRIENDS, AND FOR WHAT IS RIGHT.